Morrigan
WARNING: This interview contains a few adult concepts and is not particularly suitable for viewing by children.
MEET THE OP -- Tim 88
Morrigan: First I'd just like to say welcome and thank you for doing this
Tim88: :)
Morrigan: Nicks that you are known as/have been known as?
Tim88: Tim88 of course, has been my nick for about 3 months, b4 that I was Cyclone` for 4 years and on occasion I was known as Rydell
Morrigan: Any specific reason for choosing Tim and Cyclone?
Tim88: Cyclone because they strike fast and furious and Tim came from TimBuk2 which led to Timbbl and into Tim88, 88 being the year that I graduated school
Morrigan: Role in #Trivia_House?
Tim88: I wrote and am still writing LilMonkey's script and am in charge of his operation for the most part
Tim88: Also, I am the channel manager of #trivia_house but that is only a name as I don’t make calls on anything other than the monkey any more
Morrigan: So you abdicated your throne?
Tim88: We have a co-manager in the channel and 2 other higher ops that maintain the channel more than I do
Morrigan: Ah, how wise -- now you have more time to sleep in channel?
Tim88: More time to work on monkey effectively
Morrigan: What you are wearing right at this very moment in time? Have you brushed your hair yet?
Tim88: I’m wearing jeans and a white sleeveless t-shirt
Tim88: And I don’t have any hair to brush. Haven’t brushed my hair in 15 years
Morrigan: If you were in a candy store and you were able to eat everything, what would you choose first?
Tim88: The cashier?
Tim88: lol j/k
Morrigan: LOL -- aside from HIM, what candy would you eat?
Tim88: Hey!!!!! lol
Tim88: The only kind of candy that I like is chocolate covered cashews and for no reason other than they taste yummy
Morrigan: What do you do for a job / career?
Tim88: I am in the building demolition business
Morrigan: So basically you like to destroy things by blowing them up?
Tim88: 99% aren’t wrecked by explosives but a few are, yes
Morrigan: So how many home-improvements have you started at home, like knocking out walls etc but not finished?
Tim88: None. I know better than to start something like that. I am not very talented on new construction :Þ
Morrigan: So you like to destroy other people's things but not your own, got it!
Morrigan: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Tim88: I wanna train monkey's @ the zoo
Morrigan: So you're starting by training this LilMonkey fellow -- I do have to tell you that the training isn't going well -- he talks back quite a lot
Tim88: lol
Tim88: He is only as well trained and polite as his master is
Morrigan: So that would be not very then?
Tim88: :Þ~~~
Morrigan: MAC or IBM person?
Tim88: IBM
Morrigan: What is on your computer desk in front of your computer right now in the way of food, drink or smokes?
Tim88: 2 packs of Marlboro Light Menthols and 1 Pepsi (which is breakfast)
Morrigan: Fabulously healthy diet you have there
Morrigan: Favorite website right now?
Tim88: http://triviahouse.tripod.com
Tim88: lol
Morrigan: Self-advertising gets you no-where!
Tim88: :Þ~~~
Morrigan: Weirdest nick that you have ever been known as?
* Tim88 thinks back on one nick from 4 years ago and realises that its best if he doesn’t mention that one, in order to not cause a public outcry
Morrigan: Aww, come on, it's not like anyone will read this interview anyway
Tim88: TimBuk2 I think is the most unique name that I’ve used
Tim88: And I use it because there are monkeys there and as we all know, I like monkeys.
Morrigan: What are you thinking about right now?
Tim88: I’m wondering who I’m gonna get to cook me breakfast and when
Morrigan: Well don't look at me :)
Morrigan: Favorite TV show right now?
Tim88: Angela Anaconda - which is an animated kids show
Morrigan: What is your idea of a practical joke?
Tim88: One who leaves the receiving party really pissed off and they never find out who implemented the joke against them
Morrigan: That sounds kinda nasty
Tim88: It is, but so is my sense of humor
Morrigan: Have you ever used WebTV? If you have, how does it rate on the Scale of Suckiness?
Tim88: I have never used it but I know someone who has and it leads the class of all things that suck in life
Morrigan: Weirdest #Trivia_House experience?
Tim88: The time that monkey started letting 6 people all win the same question and was giving hints that were for 4 questions ago
Morrigan: Sounds like he needed a vacation
Tim88: Or a new master
Morrigan: Do you subscribe to or are the owner of any of these newsgroups -
* alt.beer,
Tim88: No, but if it were alt.vodka I would buy a subscription
Morrigan: * alt.toys.my-little-pony,
Tim88: Hey! leave my little pony outta this! and the answer is no on that one as well
Morrigan: * alt.alt.alt.alt.alt,
Tim88: That sounds much more interesting, I could enjoy that one I think
Morrigan: * alt.2eggs.sausage.beans.tomatoes.2toast.largetea.
cheerslove,
Morrigan: Actually, there's your breakfast there
Tim88: That one sounds like it would cause gas
Tim88: But the sausage - count me in, I need breakfast
Morrigan: * alt.pocket-rocket
Tim88: There we go. I DO subscribe to that one
Morrigan: * alt.who.the.hell.is.making.all.the.stupid.newsgroups ?
Tim88: That is the one that I run
Morrigan: Weirdest color that you have dyed your hair? Or weirdest cut / style? When you have hair that is!
Tim88: Once upon a time after my hair went from blonde to almost brown, I was gonna get the light blonde back and it didn’t work. I looked like Carrot Top for a month until I could cut the color back out of it
Tim88: And yes, I don’t have much hair to change colors :)
Morrigan: If you were a Saint, what Patron Saint would you be?
Tim88: The Patron Saint of Nights of Long Passion. (Is there one of those yet, cuz if not, I would like to apply to the saint-board for that title)
Morrigan: I think to qualify you'd have to perform some kind of miracle -- what miracle would it be?
Tim88: Um
Tim88: That at my old age I can even SURVIVE a full night of passion. That’s a miracle all by itself.
Morrigan: Boxers or briefs guy?
Tim88: Briefs only - boxers are for old men who don’t have any nuts to need support any more - without support, mine would make walking difficult :)
Morrigan: Now you are just giving yourself airs!
Tim88: :Þ~~~
Tim88: I’m being as smooth as I can here, Miss Interview Lady
Morrigan: However, if you want to give me the measurements, I'll write them in my little black book and then I'll compare
Tim88: If you would button another button on your shirt, I could concentrate better on the interview
Tim88: :Þ~~~
Morrigan: No, I like to throw people off so that they say what's on their mind, regardless of which body part is doing the thinking for them at that particular moment
Tim88: Oh ok, well yer making a mighty hard job a lot easier, so congrats on that
Morrigan: No comment on the hard bit
Tim88: *innocent giggle*
Morrigan: Innocent? Yeah right!!
Morrigan: If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
Tim88: Literate, lucid and unpredictable
Morrigan: That's 4 words
Morrigan: Thanks for your time -- now if I could speak with LilMonkey
Tim88: Ok I’ll get him outta his cage for you.
Morrigan: Hi there LilMonkey, want a 'nana before we begin?
LilMonk: I was just gonna ask you that same q *wink*
LilMonk: But no thanks
LilMonk: All monkeys wanna be LilMonkey
Morrigan: Why is that?
LilMonk: Well its pretty cut and dry...how many other monkeys have women hugging him and feeding him nanas all day long?
LilMonk: I’m the most envied monkey in the western hemisphere
Morrigan: And probably the fattest too!
LilMonk: Well, I don’t get much exercise, that’s my master’s fault for working me 24/7 and keeping me locked up
Morrigan: What are you?
LilMonk: I am a mIRC script that was written and am still being written by Tim88
LilMonk: When I make a mistake, its his fault :)
Morrigan: Sure sure, blame the employer
Morrigan: Where did you come from?
LilMonk: TimBuk2, Mali
Morrigan: So how did you get from there to here?
LilMonk: I was captured by Tim88, who was on an expedition in Mali, and he saw me and chased me for 2 days before he caught me and put me in his tuckerbag and brought me to this horrible stinky place that he calls his house
LilMonk: I now live in this little grey box that he calls my cage and a lot of people call me mean names all the time, like stoopid monkey, etc
Morrigan: You poor thing -- it's a hard life
LilMonk: Is very hard and I have to remember a lot of #'s and a lot of questions
Morrigan: How come you always talk back to people?
LilMonk: Everyone who has ever gone to the zoo will agree that us monkeys are the most intriguing of all species there ...
LilMonk: And so a monkey who has his own attitude will attract a lot of attention - and that is my goal in life - to be the most desired monkey on earth
Morrigan: Desired how?
LilMonk: It’s all in the #'s. I want people to visit me
Morrigan: But that doesn't explain why you always talk back to people
LilMonk: Yes, my talking back makes them return to try and conquer me
LilMonk: Which will never happen, I’m too smart :)
Morrigan: Of course you are
Morrigan: Is K9 your girlfriend?
LilMonk: K9 is a boy and I’m not into dogs. I talk to K9 though, his life sucks like mine does, stuck in a grey box
LilMonk: I want women, real life ones, like....*you fill in the blank*
Morrigan: Ms. Monkey?
LilMonk: Ms. Monkey is being made now - so I’ll have a companion
Morrigan: Oh really?
LilMonk: She and I will share this job some day soon
Morrigan: Did you meet her at a dating agency?
LilMonk: Tim picked her for me
Morrigan: And you trust *his* choice with women??
LilMonk: No, he is a loser lol
LilMonk: He cant find one for himself
LilMonk: But its not my choice
Morrigan: Well it will be interesting to see what he has chosen for you and I'm sure we all can't wait to meet her.
Morrigan: Are you really smart or is it just an act?
LilMonk: Its an act - each of my moves are calculated
LilMonk: I’m just a regular little monkey really
LilMonk: I’m not a quality monkey or a junky munky...just normal
Morrigan: Don't you feel angry about being manipulated like that?
LilMonk: I eat better than other monkeys
LilMonk: so the bad is offset by some bonuses
LilMonk: and some of the cute girls rub my neck and scratch my ears, etc and I like those things
Morrigan: Yeah, I bet you get lucky more than Tim does
LilMonk: Yes, he never gets any
LilMonk: :Þ~~~
Morrigan: Speaking of Tim -
Morrigan: What do you think of your owner Tim? Come on, you can tell us what you really think, we won't tell Tim.
LilMonk: Ever see a grown man cry when he gets his feelings hurt? I’ll say no more as to his character and sensitivity
Morrigan: It's good that a grown man can cry in front of his monkey
LilMonk: Lol
Morrigan: Any other gossip about him that you want to share with us?
LilMonk: Not today :P
Morrigan: Do you secretly accept banana bribes from Trivsters who want extra points?
LilMonk: Um
* LilMonk whispers to the interviewer so as the mic don’t pick it up - psst - it’s not banana bribes, cute one
Morrigan: Oh really -- then what kind of bribes?
LilMonk: Um
LilMonk: Um
LilMonk: Back rubs - yea that’s it
Morrigan: Mhm, sure, I'll just leave it there though, hehe
Morrigan: Where's the BigMonkey?
LilMonk: Cyc has him under his bed and I’ll say no more on that as it will lead to my getting a beating from Cyc
Morrigan: We can't have that, don't worry I'll protect you from the big mean Cyc
Morrigan: Now that Donkey Kong is all big and famous and stuff, would you like to give him any advice?
LilMonk: Yes. Be more like me and you'll get more chicks :P
Morrigan: Thanks for sharing with us and would you please get your paw off my butt! Thank You!
LilMonk: :Þ~~~
I was interested in finding out from Tim what the deal was with LilMonkey, so after the furry animal had gone in search of bananas or women to rub his tummy or ears, not necessarily in that order, I cornered Tim again and asked him -
Morrigan: Who is this LilMonkey that we hear so much from? What's his deal?
Tim88: He is the most awesome monkey to ever know earth - he has the right attitude to be in my house
Tim88: He likes being petted, takes no crap from anyone and has a fast finger on the ban trigger
Morrigan: So did you hear what he said about you?
Tim88: Don’t believe anything he says, he is only an attention seeker
I thanked Tim sincerely and went on my way, knowing there was one more task to complete before the interview could be declared over, and it wasn’t getting naked pictures of Tim or LilMonkey so stop thinking that!
I wanted to find out if what Tim and LilMonkey had said were anything resembling the truth, so I stopped a passerby on the #Trivia_House street and questioned her as well. I knew also that she’d have some good gossip to share about them.
K9
TRUE TESTIMONIALS ABOUT TIM AND LILMONKEY
TESTIMONEE -- Possess
Morrigan: Who do you think is smarter- LilMonkey or Tim?
Possess: Lil ALWAYS has the right answers but if you look at Tim’s monthly scores, he doesn’t seem to know too many
Morrigan: Ah, but his excuse would probably be that he is working on the monkey script. Is that believable?
Possess: Hmm, its a good "excuse"
Morrigan: His QUIT message says that he is 'The Diplomatic Dictator'. What do you think about that?
Possess: I think its a contradiction of terms
Possess: Since when is a dictator diplomatic?
Morrigan: He could be the first one
Possess: Well if not anything, the man IS unique
Morrigan: Oh? How so?
Possess: In every way possible, there aren’t many who are like him
Morrigan: I see ... I think
Possess: Just ask him, he will tell you so!
Morrigan: If he had a candy bar, and you didn't, would he share with you?
Possess: Umm if it was a lolly pop I think he would
Possess: He has a thing for lolly pops and women
Morrigan: Sounds ... kinky
Possess: Uh no comment lol
Morrigan: Yeah, anyway, I'm sure the readers don't want to know,
Possess: If they do, they could always /msg the man himself
Morrigan: So, how long have Tim and LilMonkey been a couple anyway?
Possess: Oh ever since I’ve known them - since July 1 1999
Possess: B4 that Lil was probably just a chimp in his daddy’s eye - or maybe it was a gleam, not sure
Morrigan: So he might have been visiting the zoo one day, (Tim that is), saw the monkeys and said 'why not make a bot from a monkey'
Morrigan: Makes complete sense
Possess: He just loooooooves monkeys, one of his old nicks was tangtang (a monkey)
Morrigan: So he has a kind of unhealthy obsession with them?
Possess: Yes, quite scary really, maybe it has to do with evolution or something
Morrigan: We might just leave it alone at that
Possess: Probably best we do lol
Morrigan: Who do you find more attractive - Tim or LilMonkey?
Possess: Well - if Lil wasn’t so hairy he would win hands down
* Morrigan hands Poss a razor
Possess: Ever seen a bald monkey ? *shiver*
Morrigan: No, can't say that I have
Possess: All right, go with the flow, IMAGINE a bald monkey
Possess: I rest my case!
Morrigan: Describe Tim in three words. Describe LilMonkey in three words.
Possess: Ok ....
Possess: Intense, intriguing and kind hearted
Morrigan: Ok, that's Monkey, now Tim, hehe
Possess: lolol
Possess: Worlds Best Creation
Possess: :)
After thanking Possess for her time, I found another #Trivia_House op who was willing to give her opinion about Tim and LilMonkey - Mystie. Always opinionated as an Aussie can be, I had to communicate via ICQ because she was banned from the channel for a short while for reasons unknown and by persons best left un-named.
Morrigan: I'm doing an interview on Tim -- so can I ask you a few questions about him?
Mystie: Umm you can ask and I may answer :P
Morrigan: When you first met Tim and LilMonkey -- what were your first impressions of the 2 of them -- and who left the bigger impression? (Thanks Poss for the question btw)
Mystie: Well Tim obviously put across a good impression otherwise I wouldn’t have gone back to the room after the first time. He was an understanding person at the time, because from memory, I think I told him that I was looking for a new room to "live" in because I was sick of the one that I was in. Him, LilMonkey and Danielle greeted me with open arms. And I would say that LilMonkey left the bigger impression because I fancied his banana.
Morrigan: Lol -- so you could say that LilMonkey has a bigger banana than Tim does?
Mystie: ROFL!!! Well the monkey is cuter, so he has gotta have a bigger banana :P
Morrigan: Describe Tim in three words -- and describe LilMonkey in three words
Mystie: LilMonkey - Big Banana Bender
Tim - this is hard cos there are so many words that describe Tim lol - I have to stick with my mean reputation .. Tim - Baldheaded Old Fart
Morrigan: I think that now you are gonna be banned for life from the channel, hehe
Mystie: Lol....aw I’m just being nice lol I’ve got to pick on someone ... if someone gets offended I guess I can’t change it!
Morrigan: I have one more question and I asked this from Possess too, but I want to know; who do you think is smarter - - LilMonkey or Tim?
Mystie: I would have to say LilMonkey - he knows all the answers. But then again, Tim did create monkey when he went to the Congo one year and married a SilverBack .... No I would have to say LilMonkey
Morrigan: Hehe, okay so I'll say thank you for letting me chat with you -- and watch your back for monkeys !!
That’s it from your interviewer. I hope you have learnt a few interesting facts about Tim and LilMonkey. And for all you ladies out there, don’t forget to give LilMonkey lots of hugs, kisses and bananas. And if you want to get a date with Tim, I’m sure he’s still available! Hehe! Be sure to swing by this site again to see who I interview next. It could be you!
Morrigan
© October 2000
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Check it out. LilMonkey gives it 5 bananas.