Today we get to test drive Moparman.
What fires his engines?
What sparks his plugs?
What greases his axels?
Get behind his wheel with me as we take a spin around the #Trivia_House block.
Morrigan
MEET THE REGULAR -- Moparman
Morrigan: Can I interview you now?
Moparman: Sure! Be kind!
Morrigan: I'm always kind, but I will hook you up to the lie detector first though!
Moparman: hehe - I refuse any polygraphs. Besides they're inconclusive.
Morrigan: How did you get your nickname?
Moparman: I'm an auto mechanic, and I seem to know enough about chryslers to earn me this nick (mopar = chrysler), but dont tell nobody - I hate fixing cars for now.
Morrigan: Ok, I won't advertise that fact. That way you won't get people wanting you to fix their cars for free.
Morrigan: Speaking of that -- my car has like this rattle and oh never mind ....
Moparman: I'm also a drag racer that races mopars too.
Morrigan: Drag racing huh? So is that like where you dress up in drag and run around the block?
Moparman: hehehe, only in private, but don't tell no one that either :)
Morrigan: Oh sure, no one is gonna read this interview anyway so no problem
Morrigan: So do you drag race professionally?
Moparman: No, just as a hobby. I would like to within this decade, but it's damn expensive
Morrigan: Do you rent a car to race in or use the old car in the back yard?
Moparman: hehe, actually I own several but I have a baby! It's sleeping on pillows as we speak :)
Morrigan: Oh really? In the bed next to you?
Moparman: Might as well be, the trailer its inside cost almost as much as my house :)
Morrigan: wow, an expensive hobby you have there
Moparman: Yeah but I want to buy an offshore powerboat
Morrigan: Going from car racing to boat racing?
Moparman: That might be what keeps me sane, although I have to find some women with money for gas.
Morrigan: Well hey, don't look at me for gas money!
* Moparman checks morrigan's purse when she aint lookin'
Morrigan: Oh HEY, I see you!!
Moparman: Damn - nuthin in here!
Morrigan: How long have you been coming to Trivia House and how did you find out about it in the first place?
Moparman: Good question! I dont know how long, pretty much since its inception I suppose.
Moparman: I was in another room that disappeared, prolly intentionally from me, and swaggered on in here, so even though I have a lot of experience, I still blow at it!
Morrigan: Oh you're telling us .. oh umm what I meant to say was, I'm sure you're not that bad :)
Moparman: Well, I've been getting much better, in many ways :)
Morrigan: I'm sure, but sucking up to people with high scores doesn't count!
Moparman: It doesnt?? Bah!
Morrigan: Is moparman the only nick you've had or have you had others?
Moparman: No. I've been forced to keep it for a couple of reasons: 1- I need all the wins to my name I can get
Moparman: and 2- I dont know how to change it.
Morrigan: What do you think of LilMonkey? Is he doing a good job or should he be put back in a zoo? Has he ever tried to hit on you?
Moparman: That munkey has it in for me! When there's nobody here he only gives me the q's I cant answer so I must remain far back in the ranks! He does a good job of that, no doubt!
Moparman: And he hasn't tried to hit on me, but if he has some gas money .... hmm
Morrigan: lol, well you can always ask him for it.
Moparman: But seriously if I may, I think he's wonderful.
Morrigan: So are you saying that the monkey has a personal agenda about you -- giving you tricky questions and such?
Moparman: There's ulterior motives at work I think, but nobody sees him do it - he's a sneaky lil umm .... monkey
Moparman: I'm sure he adjusts my score accordingly!
Morrigan: Others have learnt that you gotta bribe him with bananas.
Moparman: 'tis what I hear! I tried a female monkey once, turned his nose up at it. I had to bring her back to the zoo!
Morrigan: Well, he's got too many females in here.
Moparman: That could be why. I see them giving him bananas and stuff - I get kinda jealous!
Morrigan: Yeah, it's a hard life!
Moparman: Most I get is a hello and the occasional slap!
Morrigan: Lucky you
Moparman: Just kidding, there's alot of wonderful people in here that are nice.
Moparman: Can't really think of anyone who isn't actually.
Moparman: I may be the worst ..... oh oh!
Morrigan: No, I'm sure that's not true.
Moparman: At least you'll back me up, I may have to call you up on that comment some day :)
Morrigan: Favorite food?
Moparman: McDonalds, without a doubt.
Morrigan: Euuuw!
Moparman: I know it sucks, but it sucks the same everytime, and for a go go guy like me I know what I'm gonna get all the time.
Morrigan: That's an interesting take on it
Moparman: Heh simple, just like me :)
Morrigan: You don't aspire to find the same suckiness value in pizza?
Moparman: Actually not a big pizza fan - hmm I'll eat it, but I eat most anything.
Morrigan: Yeah, guys are like that.
Moparman: Life's too short to be picky. If I had to do it all over again, I'd refuse nuthin! :)
Morrigan: Favorite color?
Moparman: Color is a tuff one, hmm.
Moparman: I like so many, wow, that's a harder q than trivia has!
Morrigan: And you don't get any points for it either.
Moparman: I'll go out on a limb and say blue, or is it green? I like yellow too.
Moparman: Black is cool on some things.
Moparman: But I want a white boat.
Morrigan: Favorite TV show?
Moparman: Well that's tough too.
Moparman: I like the Simpsons, cause I like Homer, but most of the time I watch the History Channel. Boring guy huh?
Moparman: Homer's such a nice man, alot like me I think, but maybe a little stupider.
Moparman: He stands up to whoever he needs to and aint afraid of nuthin'
Moparman: And he does what's right for his wife and kids, which I don't have.
Morrigan: Favorite alcoholic beverage?
Moparman: Actually I dont drink anymore. I gave it up cold turkey about 5 years ago now. There was an incident once that made me get sober. I was a bad drunk, sometimes good, but mostly bad.
Morrigan: Congratulations on giving it up.
Moparman: I mostly drink Pepsi now.
Moparman: I had a beer after a race in Minnesota a year ago. I had a good time.
Morrigan: If you were stranded on a deserted island, who would you rather be with and why? : (1) Bill Gates (2) Marilyn Monroe (3) president elect George W Bush (4) LilMonkey or (5) Cindy Crawford?
Moparman: Cindy Crawford. Marilyn is dead so she wouldn't be much help. Munkey might know the answers to any q's about how to get off the island, but I think I'd be happy just with Cindy for a while.
Moparman: Bush would be dead in a few hours.
Morrigan: Because ..?
Moparman: Although someone might come looking for him ... there would be an incident!
Morrigan: Oh really!?
Moparman: Wouldn't want some guy nattering at me all day about budget cuts and stuff.
Moparman: Send him fishing in a hurry! Interrupting my peace!!
Morrigan: Time for a math question.
Moparman: Uh oh ... can I use a calculator?
Morrigan: No, no calculators allowed!
Morrigan: If you had 10 apples and you ate 9, how many red apples would you have left?
Moparman: Umm, are they sliced or peeled?
Moparman: If so who did it?
Morrigan: I don't care how you ate them, how many do you have left?
Moparman: If I ate 9 I'd prolly be sick and have to give the only one left away to someone, maybe Cindy Crawford?
Moparman: I think I'd have one red one.
Moparman: This is a trick question, aint it?
Morrigan: Now a spelling question.
Moparman: Good, I like spelling, even though I'm bad.
Morrigan: Spell -- cat.
Moparman: Ummm cat!! Yay!!! I did it!
* Morrigan gives ya a gold star
* Moparman dances!!!
Moparman: hmm, gold star the sticky kind?
Morrigan: Mhm, sitck it where you want.
Moparman: I hate those, get stuck everywhere just like scotch tape!!
Moparman: And you can't see it and ..!! Ack!
Moparman: I have so much more to say ...
Morrigan: Oh you do? Ok, I'll open the floor -- say what's on your mind.
Moparman: Well, one thing I'd like to say is thanks to everyone for everything. It's nice and kinda strange to have you guys for friends though I've never really met you.
Moparman: Although I think in real life we're all prolly alot different than we are in here. This gives me the opportunity to talk to people I might just pass by on the street.
Morrigan: Any plans to meet any of us?
Moparman: I would like to meet anyone who would like to meet me, no plans yet though, and sorry if I ever upset or annoyed anyone. I enjoy making people laugh and have a good time.
Moparman: Sometimes on here, things can be taken the wrong way since we have no real facial expressions and stuff.
Morrigan: That's very true.
Moparman: You know how it is - sometimes you can kid and stuff and be taken wrong, not that I ever heard anything but am always concered for others.
Morrigan: That's sweet.
Moparman: Awwww, together now!! AWWWWW!!
Morrigan: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?
Moparman: hehe lots, but I can't say or show it here :)
Moparman: Just kidding!
Morrigan: Thank you for letting me interview you.
Moparman: Do I get my grade now?
Morrigan: Sure. A gold star, an A+ and 500 extra Trivia Points.
Moparman: Wooohoo! That'll put me in the top 20 for the first time ever!
Morrigan: hehe
Moparman: I knew I'd get an A+ from you :)
Getting close to the driveway of #Trivia_House, Moparman started coughing and spluttering. Checking the gas tank, I saw he was on the big red E - Empty! Taking my CD-changer and stereo out of the dash and getting out, I kicked his tires a few times. I started to walk for the House in my high-heeled shoes.
Ain't that just like a car! Just when you've got them figured out, they break down.
Men and cars! Who needs 'em? =)
© December 2000
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Permission is not given for any other use.
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Check it out. LilMonkey gives it 5 bananas.